This is an important article to write. Sometimes it’s okay to feel not okay, or less than ourselves. We are human beings with a range of emotions and some emotions are less pleasant. However they are never the less useful. They help to tell us something about the situation. 

Next time you think “I feel like shit“ and look to distract yourself to avoid these feelings, consider sitting with them for a few minutes. 

Mindfulness is very popular these days however some authors comment that it is used incorrectly and they are right. Mindfulness can sometimes be used, or often be used, as distraction technique. But that isn’t what mindfulness is supposed to be about. 

Mindfulness is meant to be about leaning into these feelings, and feeling them fully, not to escape and learning to accept them. For many people when they feel sad they reach for substances, foods, or some other unhealthy coping strategy, gambling, pursue inappropriate relationships to escape or avoid painful and uncomfortable feelings. 

It is important to make clear, however, that this article is not telling you to sit with sad feelings that consume you; depression can happen and it is important to get help when if it does. We can experience normal levels of sadness from days to weeks, or in response to life events where it lasts much longer, such as grief. But it is normal for us to have blue days where we experience momentary sadness: these feelings can teach us a lot about ourselves. They can also be helpful in making decisions that are important to us, or guiding a behaviour. 

Certainly, there would be no harm in writing our feelings out using creative methods; this isn’t a distraction and can be healing in the moment. Writing out the sad feelings or less pleasant feelings through creative writing or expressing them through art or taking some form of practical action are all ways we can respond without avoiding feelings.

This doesn’t mean when we are feeling rotten or not ourselves, we can’t engaging in positive activities such as going for walks, practising yoga, meditation etc. These are great things also for overcoming negative feelings. But it is saying to forgive yourself for taking a day out. Over a long duration of time this isn’t such a great strategy, but we can do these things and view our feelings. If sometimes you feel like sacking it all off, curling up on the couch with a blanket, binge watching series and eat ice cream, why not? This wouldn’t be a good long term strategy, it couldn’t happen every day but now and again it is forgivable. So forgive yourself.

Hopefully today you can go forward with the message that sometimes its okay to feel rubbish. That in leaning into those feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and stress, that you can explore them and find sometimes sitting with a particular painful feeling can reduce the perception of the intensity.